How often do we hear people say that they never find anyone suitable to date? No matter how hard they try, they regularly check online dating sites, accept friend invites, join various groups, they never seem to find anyone they really get along with. Is there something else going on, or are they really ready, available to date, and just unlucky in their search?
If this is your case, what needs to happen for you to be available to date?
– Work it can place many demands and distractions on our being available to date. Being tired, worried, or overly engaged can mean we have little free time or energy to make the effort to look attractive and be receptive to someone else’s charms. Preparing to meet someone new requires a certain amount of effort, time, and money, and it’s not always spared if we’re immersed in business demands, deadlines, and family concerns.
We may not even be sure how free we will be to wholeheartedly pursue a new relationship in the weeks and months ahead. Working long hours or being away from home on a regular basis can dampen our desire to date. We’re already so busy that even thinking about the early days of a new relationship can seem like too much of an effort to bother us. However, building a business or career is often done with an eye toward our future expectations, hoping to settle down with a partner, have a family, build a home together.
Taking care to find a better balance in life often incorporates a mindset shift where we include all areas of life and make ourselves available to date.
-Friends They know us well and may insist that they really want to see us settled down and loved in a great new relationship, but is that really the case? Are you sure that deep down they are okay with changing the existing dynamic of their friendship, where their time and loyalty may start to be influenced by the need to consider someone else?
You may notice a change in his behavior as you start to need him more, or he becomes negative or critical of any potential new suitors. Pay attention to what’s going on and try to talk about how you both feel. Assure them that they will always be important, and make it a point to keep in regular contact, even if it sometimes has to be done over the phone or online.
-Family It can be interesting, especially if you are very close to your siblings or parents. Siblings may be jealous at the prospect of their brother or sister dating, especially if they have shared a lot, perhaps helped each other through difficult times, survived a breakup and spent many hours together sharing confidences and advice, communicating regularly . base.
– Daughters and mothers. Girls often say that their mother is their best friend, they call each other every day, they talk about everything. But there is a saying, give your children roots to grow and wings to fly. Some mothers have a hard time letting go and are overly dependent on their daughters for companionship. They can be possessive, loathe to lose their intense closeness to a new third party.
If a mother refuses to let go, she may hijack the possibility of a blossoming new relationship for her daughter. Often in a position of influence, she can always be around with money, gifts, inside knowledge of what buttons to push. She can call regularly, constantly available to help and provide support at any time. How can a potential new relationship compete with such an intimate and long-established bond?
– Children and parents They are also often great companions, sharing hobbies and interests, perhaps spending hours together out of a common love of sports, cars, etc. Some can work together and be the best companions. A new girlfriend can be quite an intrusion into the amount of time you normally choose to spend together. As with mothers and daughters, it can be difficult to separate if the father is reluctant to step back and decides to come out strong with guilt, loyalty, or the ‘why bother with him or her’ card.
If you’ve started to realize how much you’re struggling to be available to date, accept that the change has to come from you. You need to determine what is happening or what is going wrong. Any new relationship requires effort, commitment, and can sometimes feel like hard work.
If you finally want to settle down, maybe find a long-time partner, maybe start a family, some things may have to change. Being more assertive and assertive with some of your existing relationships may well be a step you will need to take. You must be prepared to do whatever it takes to be mentally, physically, and emotionally ready to meet someone who can deliver and meet your relationship needs. Then you will be available to date!