If you follow me on Facebook, you may have seen posts recently about my daughter’s admission to our local animal hospital, Angell Memorial. It was honestly a scary moment. Something that has made a big difference for me when scary things happen is asking my friends for positive energy. As someone who is so sensitive to energy, I can feel it, receive it, and it is very valuable to me during this time.
The second thing I’ve learned to ask for is “no questions asked.” The reason is that I am focused on helping my child and I need to conserve my energy instead of wasting it answering questions. Learning to do this was a huge empowerment step for me, as one thing I have determined about women is that we are taught from a very young age to give away and not set limits.
That is what I want to talk to you about today. Frankly, I learned a lot about setting boundaries from a romantic relationship that began while I was at Corporate. He was very successful and had a phrase “I’m not ready to talk about this” when he didn’t want to talk about something. You would see him use it in both his business and personal dealings (including some of our conversations).
Initially, I was shocked, as I’ve never heard anyone speak this way. After all, if someone asks you a question… they teach you how to answer it. Good? However, she taught me about the importance of boundaries when you needed to protect yourself and your energy. Something that was never taught in school or by my parents. That lesson is still useful to this day.
What I want you to think about is where do you need to set boundaries in your life or business?
• Do you have clients who spend too much time with you?
• Do you have friends who stay too long to receive them?
• Do you have people calling you during your private time?
• Not getting paid on time?
• What else is going on?
What action can you take to change that?
• Turn off your phone during certain hours?
• Do you have a conversation with certain people?
• What else can you do?
Imagine if you could take back your power and space by setting boundaries. Understand that everyone has their own set of what is acceptable and what is not. After all, you might be an early riser and think it’s okay to text someone at 7:30 am. However, if that other person doesn’t get going until 9:00 am, you’re interfering with their private time. These are good questions to ask and think about before entering someone else’s space.
Once you set your boundaries, there’s no need to apologize or say you’re “sorry.” In fact, no explanation is required unless you choose to do so.
Let’s go back to my girl, Cali. Interestingly, only one person asked a question in the Facebook thread. Another friend immediately replied that he had not asked questions. I loved that. When you set boundaries respectfully, others will respect you.
After all, you teach others how to treat you.
Lastly, I’ve had a few friends who were inspired by the way I post “no questions please” and now feel empowered to do the same. No one had enlightened them or shown them how to do this.
Learning to ask for what you need and want is one of the most critical actions you can take to learn how to shine. I’m teaching all of that and more at my new “Ask For It Live™” event. Join us!
Great news! Cali was released from the hospital after a few days of stay and she is doing great! Thank you for all the love and support you sent us.