Getting caught cheating is a great way to kill the already limited conversation that takes place in the average marriage. Unfortunately, this is a time when the conversation is more critical than any other in your marriage.
The problem, at the moment, is that there is a palpable distance between you. In places where conversation was once so easy, an awkward silence now prevails. Talk can be cheap, but the lack of meaningful conversation right now is killing your chances for a successful second chance.
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These four great conversation starters will help you begin to open up to each other so you can enjoy the informal intimacy that is so important in marriages.
one) Tell me a story. This is a great opening for those nights when you’re both lying in bed and can’t find the right words to say to each other. They are both awake, but the night is deathly silent and supremely uncomfortable. Turn around and ask your husband or wife to tell you their favorite dating story. When that story is told, return the favor with one of your own. Sharing the memories you made together will remind both of you of the good times you had together and will be a nice reminder of how great things can be between you.
2) And yes? Ask your wife what she would do if the two of you could do anything without worrying about time, cost, or children. You may be surprised by her answer and surely she will be surprised by the question. The real key here is not in the question, or even in her answer, but in the information she gives you about your wife. Although you probably can’t bring all of her fantasy adventure to life, you may be able to fill a small part of it.
3) Do you know what I love most about you? Ask your husband this question, and be prepared to come up with a pretty impressive list of answers. This causes both of you to seek out the other’s best features (even if he isn’t playing verbally) and can invite a lot of follow-up conversations. It’s a fun way to build a new, positive relationship between the two of you without the tension of a past affair hanging over you.
4) I dare you! Do you want to be a little playful with your conversations? How about a friendly game of truth or dare? Keep it all clean (or not so clean if you’ve gotten to that point and are comfortable with it) and avoid asking the hard questions. You want to reveal things about others, but you want to keep the atmosphere light. It’s a great way to learn some fun facts and take on some exciting challenges. Just make sure you lay down the ground rules before you start.