Adolescence is a very difficult time not only for you as a parent, but for you as well. Most parents would ask how to deal with stubborn teens, as this age is really where independence and individuality are cultivated. But you do not need to worry about this stage, many parents have gone through their children’s own adolescence and most of them have really made it.
Here are some tips on how to deal with stubborn teens:
One way to deal with stubborn teens is to listen very carefully; Most parents don’t know it, but stubborn teens can actually be the result of stubborn parents. After puberty, most children think that they are adults ready to face the world; Fortunately, parents are wise enough to know that this is not true. However, parents may think very little of their teens to the point that they still treat them like kids whose ideas are just kid stuff.
The truth of the matter is that the adolescent is more mature than children, although not yet mature enough; This means that your teen may have something to say about himself or how he wants to be treated. Listen to what they say first before speaking your mind. Often times, parents just stubbornly and automatically deflect everything their teens have to say, this in turn causes the teen to act like their stubborn parents and become stubborn teens.
When stubborn teens give their point of view, acknowledge it even if you disagree. It is important for stubborn teens to know that they have heard your opinion on things. But you don’t necessarily have to follow or agree with it, after all, in most cases, your teen may just be asking for your advice or has other ideas in mind. After you acknowledge your teen’s idea, you can say what you think it should be.
To deal with stubborn teens, imagine yourself in your teen’s shoes. You were also a teenager years or decades ago and you should know how difficult those times were. But don’t worry too much about your own experiences because your teenager probably faces different challenges in life. Many parents say things like “I know better because I’ve been there” in hopes of preventing their children from doing something. But that is actually an invitation for the child to become even more curious about such circumstances.
Another way to deal with stubborn teens is to avoid using labels when talking to your child, especially during arguments. Tags may seem insignificant when you drop them, but they can easily enter your teen’s mind, whether the tag is positive or negative. It is important to allow your teenager to live without labels. Otherwise, the stubbornness could be due to your teen’s effort to deviate from labels.
Try to avoid arguing with your child about issues of opinion. Even if debates occur to convince one party of your opinion, what it actually does is strengthen the other party’s control over your opinion, as both create reasons to believe in your position. In this case, it is best to show why your opinion might be better and let your teen see for himself what makes him think he is right.
Stubbornness is inevitable for teens, but it could actually be a necessary trait at this point when they are developing their identity. What matters is that you are there for them at this critical stage with lots of love and understanding. With an open mind and a healthy heart, you will be able to know how to deal with stubborn teens.