Loneliness (What is loneliness really, if not just a state of mind?)

Loneliness

Samuel Langhorne Clemens, aka Mark Twain, once said that “the worst loneliness is not being comfortable with yourself” and yet he himself suffered from massive insecurities of loneliness. Born premature, he spent the first seven years of his life as a “sickly and precarious child living mainly on allopathic drugs.” Always trying to find the love of his parents, he could never find in himself the love that he so desperately sought.

“Self-love is the beginning of a lifelong romance,” said Oscar Wilde and ironically, he too tried to find love in the arms of young people!

Both…masters of prose and poetry offered the world a cure for loneliness, yet sought fulfillment in their own lives.

What is loneliness really, if not just a state of mind?

One can be extremely lonely in a crowd or be completely surrounded by serene thoughts while in total solitude. To varying degrees, we have all experienced both. Which is better? Be a line looking for an end or become a circle and find the end?

When I sat down to write about loneliness at the urging of my friend, I wondered what point of view I was espousing. The sadistic, masochistic look that delves into the pain caused by loneliness or the optimistic look that allows loneliness to be seen as an opportunity to discover the interior?

Being a firm believer in positivity and happiness, the answer was easy.

Our life is a matrix created by ourselves. The only question is which pill we prefer to swallow. The blue pill or the red pill? Is ignorance bliss or is the truth worth knowing… no matter what! “The truth will set you free,” says the Bible. So we will seek the truth.

philosophically; the existentialist school of thought sees loneliness as the essence of being human. Every human being comes into this world alone, travels through life as an isolated being, and ultimately leaves this planet alone.

However, other existentialists argue just the opposite. Human beings are meant to actively “commit” to each other or feel the futility of existence, especially if they are unable to communicate, love, or procreate.

The discussion continues!

So, do we seek fulfillment outside of ourselves or within ourselves? Both are acceptable, but I think the latter is not only easier to follow, but also more in-depth and long-lasting. For the former we need another individual or individuals who are willing to accept us in their entirety at all times. That, we can all agree, is a bit difficult. Acceptance and agreement go hand in hand with debate and disagreement, which can eventually lead to loneliness.

The more individualistic we are, the greater the chances that we will feel alone. Although this may or may not be bad. After all, God has endowed us all with a single thought that is far from collective. Why then do we constantly seek acceptance and agreement? Does it all stem from the inherent insecurities we harbor within ourselves?

The first step to overcome loneliness is to accept it as something natural and at the same time ephemeral. Our mood is our own choice and the only thing we have control over. Nothing worse than being a prisoner of your own mind and not realizing it, so you don’t feel like escaping.

The first step would certainly be the recognition and acceptance that loneliness is nothing more than a state of mind. Instead of calling it loneliness, we can choose to call it loneliness. Loneliness is a choice while loneliness is a circumstance. A mere turn of words and we have already begun to change our way of thinking.

Look at it as a line or a line that ends in a circle!

Perhaps a positive self-image is the key to overcoming loneliness. Instead of running out and looking for company, it might be a better idea to reprogram ourselves mentally through positive affirmations and conversations. As I like to say, “Be the person who walks into the room and the room lights up and not the person who walks out of the room and the room lights up.”

Once we are comfortable in our own company, we will automatically become the life of a party and loneliness will be reduced to a term that we will need to look up in the dictionary.

love/luck/happiness
Shveite

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