Getting Back Together After A Breakup: Your ‘How To Get Back Together’ Guide!

Hope to get back together after a break up

Your relationship with your ex is over. But is it over forever? You are probably heartbroken and confused by the loss of your loved one due to the failure to resolve the issues that arose in your relationship. I am here to tell you that if you want, you have a chance to get back that feeling of joy and contentment that you once had with your ex! No matter how well or badly your relationship with your ex ended, there is hope of getting back together after a breakup with him or her. You have the advantage of being able to rekindle those “old flames” of romance, passion and trust!

You can discover how to get back together with your ex through persuasive strategic steps that are based on creating and fulfilling high expectations in your ex’s mind. It is possible to achieve this by trusting in honor, respect and showing your commitment to your ex.

Commit to trying to get your ex back, then…Wait!

First, decide to take action as soon as you’re ready, and then make sure you’re ready to wait. In effect, you are putting the ball in your court and setting up the reconciliation to be on your terms. You create the environment that allows your ex the freedom to consider everything you’ve told him, when he’s ready to work it out. However, the topic of being patient will be covered in more detail later down the road in this article on “getting back together after a breakup.”

“Fresh start expectation” method

It doesn’t matter who was at fault, decide what actions or failures on your part led to the breakup. For now, all you have to worry about is your part of the breakup. Prepare this list of important issues for which you should sincerely apologize to your estranged partner. The desired effect of this strategy should be to diplomatically create a credible hope in your ex’s mind for a better future with you.

Your strategy will revolve around a “fresh start expectation” method that will be followed immediately by the fulfillment of each of those promises. To carry out this method, you must create a positive expectation in your spouse’s mind and consistently deliver the products on time. This requires you to redeem any role you played in the breakup, make up for past hurts with a new attitude toward him or her, and restore trust in her mind about you as a partner in a renewed relationship.

Establishing a time to talk respectfully and uninterruptedly with your ex will accomplish that feat! Make sure the thrust of her message revolves around how he or she was personally wronged as her main emphasis. Please use this angle as a starting point for your sincere apology. He’ll come across as a truly changed and trustworthy person if the discussion isn’t just a thinly disguised attempt to justify his position. This will make him feel safe and considered by you!

“Rules of Engagement” in its persuasive approach

For the most diplomatic effect, try to use the utmost respect for him or her in your tone and in how you handle any of their objections to your proposal. Be sure not to resort to using accusations or attacks on who you are as a person. Instead, frame your proposal using only “I feel” or “I felt” statements that focus on addressing the problem and working on a plan to get back together. This will better help you credibly establish your plan and your vision of a possible new future for a shared relationship again.

Once again, if he or she is ready, give your ex a chance to respond to your proposal. This may or may not require an extended waiting period on her part in the hope of her response. The more you show trust and patience regarding this, the more likely it is that he or she will come back with at least an objective answer. The courtesy of the freedom to take as much time as he or she needs to communicate with you is priceless at this sensitive time. Plus, it will allow your ex to respond more thoughtfully and fairly.

If and when your ex makes that request in terms of an arrangement to meet again to listen to your announcement of your response, use the same listening rules from your last meeting! The more she feels able to express her thoughts, emotions, doubts, and/or approval toward her proposal without interruptions, the better! This concession on your part should open up the opportunity for your ex to view her proposal more favorably.

Also, this is one of the keys to ensuring that you both open up relationally from similar moods. This can influence him or her to respond in kind to her positive approach. Also, the more you’re willing to have an open conversation with your ex, the more each of you can make open expressions of each of her intentions. Furthermore, this open and respectful approach should encourage the building of an emotional relationship and the co-creation of objective ideas.

The only person you can control in these dealings with others is you. Really listening to your spouse’s words and sincerely trying to think of the best appeal for restoring love and happiness together is all you can do if the process goes smoothly. Taking small, progressive steps in this process will pay off better than forcing the subject of getting back together after a breakup with him or her.

Timely, credible and proven redemptive action

If all goes well up to this point, don’t waste a minute hanging around. Rather, be prepared to try any and all of her propositions and promises to make amends for any wrong you personally have done to him or her. Start with the most recent and most critical offense and stick to your word to follow through on any and all promises you made. Doing so will set up your personal campaign to get back into a healthy relationship with your ex.

Also, your ex will most likely test your promises to prove your ability to keep your word. Your credibility and trustworthiness of him are in the balance of this endeavor!

How to defuse a hostile situation when trying to get back together after a breakup

What if, despite your best efforts, he or she is hostile towards you and/or your proposal? How should you handle such a situation? There are tactics you can use to defuse the animosity bomb that can arise as you work to rebuild your relationship.

If you have a strong determination to see your efforts through to their logical ends, you can “gracefully retire” for now and hope for a better opportunity in the future to try again. If her spouse did not completely tell you not to talk to him or her again, then she can simply respect and accept her position on her proposal. Also, this show of respect for her wishes may cause her to change her mind about getting back together with you. Perhaps time was needed to heal old relational wounds. During this time, he must fully “put the ball in his court” again.

don’t harass your ex

If your ex told you not to talk to him or her again, then don’t try to contact, follow, or stalk your ex in any way! This will destroy your chances that he or she will reconsider your proposal to get back together. If you break this rule, your chances of getting back together with your ex drop dramatically. Nothing will turn your ex off or drive you away more than desperate and shameless behavior that invades her privacy.

Conclusion

The “fresh start expectation” method along with following each of the appropriate “rules of engagement” should prove effective if you act quickly to prove your promises. If you do, you must become the bridge between you and your ex. But you say, “Hey, this is terribly one-sided. What about my ex? Shouldn’t he (or she) apologize and make up for what he (or she) did to mess up the relationship?” All I can say to that point of protest is that genuinely sincere persuasion that is backed by proof of commitment has a way of softening up the recipient to reciprocate her positive gesture to rebuild the relationship.

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