Costa Rica Rules the Rodeo: Holiday Mayhem in Santa Teresa, Costa Rica

“He’s not dead! Applause for the boy!” yells the announcer at the end of the Cóbano Rodeo in Costa Rica. Held every February, the event is like a rural county fair gone wild. The main event of last night’s rodeo encourages youngsters to tempt fate by taking on the bulls in the ring.

Costa Rican rodeos are interactive events with peculiar rules. There are 2000 people in the stands, a circular ring and 100 local guys in the ring as well. They let loose a bull with a rider. When the rider is knocked down, the bull runs around the ring and all the boys try to antagonize him while avoiding his wrath.

They’re sponsored by local businesses, and I’ve heard you can get cash prizes for slapping the bull’s head, etc. Anyway, the bull goes berserk, and then all the guys jump over the wall to avoid him, then kick him as he passes. They let it pass for a few minutes and the cowboys come out to tie up the bull and bring it back. They do this over and over for 3 hours. The real entertainment is watching the gringos enter the ring. Anyone can jump in and participate.

As the gringos steel themselves, they too begin to enter the fray. At first it’s just a few daring surfers, then a few more, then a lot of people feel comfortable enough, and even some non-radical girls and tourists jump in. Finally, the biggest booby gets into the ring. He really stood out, he was wearing short shorts, a too tight tank top and short blonde hair. He looked like a Swedish tourist out of place.

When he entered the ring it was as if a light shined on him and said, “I’m the dumbest guy here, please hurt me bull!” Sure enough, the next bull went right at him and ran him over hard. The bull went on and the fool got up and ran out of the ring.

20-30 minutes later, the goofy guy is back in the ring! He ran up and hit the bull’s butt, and the bull turned fast and stuck him in the sternum, knocked him down and stomped on him. The dumb guy was totally unconscious and rolling around on the ground a bit.

The “doctors” dragged him behind the boards. That was the last bull, and they let him run for a while while the announcers made their final comments. The cowboys caught the bull in the lasso, and then the medics carried the fool across the ring on a stretcher.

Just before they reach the other side, the bull turns and attacks the fool again, knocking him off the stretcher. The medics dumped the stretcher and ran, then the cowboys retrieved the bull. A bunch of guys gather around the goofy guy for a minute, pick him up and wave weakly at him. The announcer says, “Big round of applause for that guy, he’s not dead!”

They couldn’t have asked for a better ending! In the following days this was the talk of the town. Every Costa Rican I talked to about it said they saw it on TV. I bet they wait for this all year so they can laugh at the dumbest gringo at the annual rodeo.

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